When I was a little girl my mother used to make me go and kiss people with chicken pox so that I would get it and not run the risk of getting it in my older life and becoming infertile.

Unfortunately I never did manage to contract the disease, so I suppose I’m still at risk and might ruin my chances of having lots of little kiddlywinks. I’ll probably end up having to do a Brangelina, although now that having a black baby has become the ultimate fashion accessory, maybe I’m not so keen on the idea after all.

Swine Flu in the media is like a persistent cough that just refuses to go away. After the summer of fear we are now in the midst of the autumn of creeping anxiety. Swine Flu appears to be round every corner and the government has decided that all “at risk” categories (which include children, pregnant mothers and the elderly) must undergo the Swine Flu vaccine.

Seeing that I am not in the “at risk” category, I have reached the conclusion that the wisest course of action is to go around snogging anyone who displays any swine-ish symptoms. My reasoning is that if I contract it now and get it over and done with, maybe I’ll be immune by the time the next super-strength strain decides to start making the rounds. Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is not an elaborate plan to get me a man.

Mr Z, my set-designer friend who will be collaborating with Harry from candourinteriors to renovate my abode, came round for dinner the other night and we started drawing up 3D plans of the flat. I hadn’t realised that there is this amazing freeware program called Sketchup that you can just download off google. Sketchup lets you to draw up plans to scale and insert fridges, washing machines etc. so you can envisage what your house is going to look like. Nifty stuff huh?

I’m still doing the rounds of all the different architectural salvage yards to see if they have any bits and bobs that can work with the new house. Mainly I’m looking for a marble countertop for my East End Jellied-eel shop inspired kitchen, possibly some reclaimed floorboards and a tin bathtub that does not have three zeros attached to its price tag. Mission impossible I know. So far the different places I’ve been to have all seemed to be ultra-swanky and as a consequence pricey times a million. Do not even step into Retrouvius Reclamation and Design, if you do not plan to flash the big cash for old reclaimed school tables and blackboards.

Related posts:

1. New Year’s blues
2. Rodent curries
3. Flying South